The Happy Fish

Zhuangzi and his friend Huizi walk on a bridge over a river. Zhuangzi says the fish swim freely, so they must be happy. Huizi replies, “You are not a fish. How do you know what fish enjoy?” Zhuangzi answers, “You are not me. How do you know that I do not know?”

It is a joke and a real question: how can one mind know another? Huizi says a gap separates any two creatures. Zhuangzi notes that this would show Huizi cannot know what Zhuangzi knows either, then adds that Huizi asked “how do you know?”, so he took it for granted that Zhuangzi knew.

The lesson is not that you can read minds. Arguments about what others feel can be won by cleverness and still miss the point. Notice what you do when you attribute feelings: look, listen, and stay open to correction.

The class mood

A teacher says her class is happy because nobody complains. A new student says, “You can’t know that; you’re not us.” The teacher says that is silly, since she sees them every day.

They agree that neither extreme works. She cannot be sure from outside, and the new student cannot be sure she is wrong. She decides to ask, to listen to the answers, and to watch what people do when they think no one is watching.

Try this today Next time you think you know how someone feels, ask them, and listen to the answer.