Regret

Regret is the pain of wishing you had chosen differently. Epicurus held that a pain is worth bearing only when it leads to something better. Regret can do that: it points to a value you neglected or a pattern to change. Used that way, it ends with a lesson and a next step.

It turns harmful when it loops. Replaying a choice with the knowledge you have now is unfair to the person who chose, since that person did not have it. The loop adds pain and no information.

This lesson offers a test of its own, with three questions. What did I know then? What do I know now that I would use next time? And what small act can I take today in that direction? When the answers are in hand, let the rest go.

The job not taken

Lou turned down a job abroad ten years ago and still lies awake some nights thinking about it. At the time he had a sick parent and no savings.

He tries the three questions. Then, he knew his parent needed him. Now, he sees that he wants more adventure. Today, he signs up for a language class and plans a trip. The regret becomes a plan.

Try this today Name one regret, write what it taught you, and one small step it suggests for next week.