When Help Becomes Control

Paternalism means overriding a person’s choice for that person’s own good. A seatbelt law, a doctor who withholds a risky drug and a parent who locks the medicine cabinet are all examples. Some seem fair and some seem controlling.

Mill’s harm principle holds that a person’s own good is not enough reason to use force on a competent adult. Others reply that some cases differ: a child, someone in a temporary crisis, or a choice made with false information.

One test, which Gerald Dworkin proposed for children and others have applied more widely, asks whether the person would later agree with the interference. Another asks whether a softer step, such as advice or a warning, would work. The more drastic the interference, the stronger the reason must be.

The grandfather’s stairs

Arlo’s grandfather insists on climbing the stairs alone, though he has fallen twice. Arlo’s first thought is to lock the door to the upper floor.

He asks instead whether his grandfather would later endorse the lock. He would not, since he values his independence. They agree on a handrail, a bell and a chair on the landing. The choice stays with his grandfather, with less risk.

Try this today Before stepping in for someone’s own good, ask whether they would later thank you and why.