Lesson · 4 min Gentle

You Too

In one line Pointing out that a speaker does the same does not answer what the speaker said.

The tu quoque, Latin for “you too,” answers a criticism by pointing at the critic. “You tell me to stop texting at dinner, but you text at dinner.” It feels like a fair hit, and sometimes it shows hypocrisy. But it does not show that the criticism is wrong.

A claim stands or falls on its reasons, not on the speaker’s record. A smoker can be right that smoking harms health. The hypocrisy may matter for trust or for what the speaker should do, but the truth of the claim is a separate question.

The better reply is two steps. First, weigh the point on its merits. Second, if the hypocrisy matters, say so as its own complaint.

The late parent

Dad tells his son, “You should be on time for school.” The son replies, “You are late to everything.” Dad pauses and does not answer.

Later Dad says, “You are right that I am often late. That is something I should fix. But being on time for school is still important for you.” He took the point, and kept the truth of his advice.

Try this today Next time you want to say “but you do it too,” first answer the point itself.